Hello
One of the biggest issues that I think we can ever face, is to admit when we aren’t being honest with ourselves. This may at first glance not sound like the biggest issue ever – and yet it is one of those creeping little things which over time can really hamper our progress. The reason that it can hamper our progress is because we can find ourselves caught up in a false internal dialogue. What I mean by that is that we can end up telling ourselves stories which quite patently aren’t true. Now of course, we tend to have ‘stories’ to help us navigate our environment. She will do this because… He has done that because… The reason I can’t do that is because…
However, the big challenge really arises when we tell ourselves a ‘story’ which limits our ability to function in a way which is good for us, and good for those around us. Here are some examples of what I often hear people say.
‘I can’t speak in public’
‘They dislike me because…’
‘I’m too much of an introvert’
‘No one listens to me’
How many of those I wonder become what’s known as a self fulfilling prophecy? We have to be so careful of the stories that we tell, because those can become the ‘truth’ against which we validate our ability to move forward.
And so it’s not just dangerous when we tell ourselves stories which exaggerate our importance or skills (humility is good) it’s also dangerous, and sometimes more so, when we radically limit our true potential (effectively diminishing our self worth).
So what’s the solution? Well one solution is to ask yourself if your track record aligns with your internal expectations. If it doesn’t, there could be many reasons why not, but one reason may be that you are drifting slightly into the land of delusion and magical thinking! More commonly, for most people, what is important to do is to check whether there is a pattern to those areas of your life where you aren’t doing well. And then to ask if there may be any underlying ‘story’ or belief that might be holding you back. This is often quite obvious, particularly when you ask the following question, ‘what is causing this lack of progress?’.
Sometimes it’s useful to use a coach or a mentor, as they may help prompt you to go a bit deeper in answering that question, if you aren’t quite going deep enough. And by deep enough, I mean being honest enough with yourself.
Here is a rather nice quote from Oprah Winfrey, “Create the highest, grandest vision possible for your life, because you become what you believe.”
So…why not try out that simple little exercise, it’s simple but it may be well worth it.
Best wishes
Mike
Here is a link to the latest podcast, with some additional thoughts about the ‘stories’ we tell.
http://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-nug3s-91bb89