Hello
Well it’s 2018 and it’s already not too far away from February. So what does the year hold in store for us? I suppose it’s the uncertainty of not knowing that makes life exciting, or scary, depending on how you look at it.
I’m guessing that what most of us would wish for would be happiness. Happinesses for ourselves, and for others. There has been quite a lot of research carried out in the area of happiness, and it tends to produce some interesting and perhaps, when you think about it, common sense pointers as to what can make us happier.
The Happiness Research Institute in Copenhagen (a very happy place apparently) has produced some very interesting work in this area. I would recommend reading what they have to say. I also wanted to briefly highlight one area which the Happiness Research Institute considers to be important, and that is that a sense of connectedness tends to make us happier. That is the ability to have access to several friends when we need to talk things through, and also to know that people are there for us in a crisis.
Contrast that with the very often isolating effects of social media, and indeed the harmful effect that it can have on an individual’s self esteem, e.g. ‘I am only as good as the number of likes that I have’.
More on that another time.
Now whilst it’s very important to have that sense of connectedness outside work, should the workplace be any different? I would suggest absolutely not. The exact nature of the connectedness may be different, but a sense of being able to talk things through, and of people having our backs, with no dagger present, is surely a culture to strive for, if it doesn’t already exist.
Having interviewed and worked with many successful leaders, I would suggest that there are three traits that are present in leaders who successfully create a culture of connectedness, and these are:
1) They actually want people to succeed. There is no subtle sabotage going on behind the scenes, people are genuinely encouraged to be as good as they can be. The successful leader understands that team success requires everyone to be at the top of their game.
2) They actually like people. A strange thing to write perhaps! However I have seen (perhaps you have too) leaders who simply do not appear to like other people. They are awkward, and apparently pained in the presence of others, and they often actively avoid contact.
3) They value different opinions. They often seek out those who disagree, and importantly, they listen.
If a leader genuinely does not want others to succeed, doesn’t actually like people, and cannot bear to hear a different opinion from their own, then they really shouldn’t be in the role, in my opinion.
Thankfully most of us aren’t like that, but we can fall into the trap of inadvertently behaving in a way which can diminish that sense of connectedness.
So what can we do to ensure that we avoid these damaging behavioural potholes?
There are many approaches that could be taken, but for the sake of brevity, I would suggest considering taking the following simple steps:
1) At least once a week sit down with someone and have a conversation about how you can help them with their development. This could be considered to be coaching, or mentoring, or both. Whatever you call it, mindset is the key. Bear in mind that your job is to support them in whatever way that you can.
2) Check out when you last spoke to the person with whom you have the least rapport. It’s often the case that even in a high performing team, some people gravitate to certain individuals more than others. And that’s ok, as long as a sense of balance is maintained. It’s very easy to fall into the trap of kidding ourselves that we are spending equal amounts of time with all of the team. Make sure that you divide your time equally, whenever possible, and remember that it’s your job to set the tone. The words, welcoming, candid, interested, and supportive, spring to mind.
3) Ensure that you are surrounded by some people who have differing ideas and opinions to your own. This does not mean that you should have stand-up arguments every morning, quite the reverse. What it does mean is that a healthy debate and discussion, where differences are aired and shared, is to be encouraged. This is preferable to the group think/yes person/echo chamber approach that some leaders indulge in.
You will hopefully see that the three strategies to help enhance connectedness are themselves connected. There is a thread running through them which, I would suggest, is to do with humility and an understanding that the leader is there to support, not to suppress.
The link to a short video about happiness can be found here:
If you want to learn more about the development work which is currently being carried out by Braver Leaders using the Braver Leadership approach, please contact us via the website.
Best wishes
Mike